Recognizing the early signs of divorce can be challenging for many reasons, one of which is the reluctance to acknowledge that the relationship has devolved. Being able to identify issues and warning signs in the early stages can help you make informed decisions before conditions change for the worse. From subtle shifts in communication to unresolved conflicts, there are often ways to identify when something isn’t working in a marriage.

Professional Advice from Our Orange County Divorce Attorneys

If you suspect that a divorce or separation is on the horizon in your marriage, contact the Sarieh Law Offices to schedule a free case evaluation. Our divorce attorneys lend an experienced and compassionate ear to spouses struggling with the breakdown of their relationship. We know how emotionally challenging this process can be, which is why our goal is to make the legal aspects as easy as possible.

Here are the most common early signs of divorce that you can watch for to identify potential issues in your marriage.

1. Lack of Communication: When Conversations Fade

Communication is a cornerstone of a healthy marriage. Not only does communication build a foundation for connection and serve as a basic need when relaying information, but it also impacts how well two people work together to address changing needs or discuss desires. In fact, communication is among the most important elements of a healthy relationship.

When a couple stops communicating or when their conversations are stilted and filled with misunderstandings, this can be a sign of marital troubles. If you cannot remember the last time you had a productive or enjoyable conversation with your spouse, it may be time to address this issue before the damage is irreversible.

2. From Respect to Contempt

Respect is another major component of a marriage. Without the basic tenet of respect, very few positive or healthy interactions can occur in a relationship. It can be helpful to evaluate whether you or your spouse have been doing any of the following when interacting with each other:

  • Rolling your eyes
  • Sighing or huffing
  • Interrupting or ignoring
  • Making rude or hurtful comments
  • Cursing or using other inflammatory words

Even when couples disagree, it’s important that they can continue to respect each other and discuss the issue in a productive and understanding way. If you or your spouse are no longer able to be tolerant and patient towards each other, your marriage may be in trouble.

3. Stubbornness in Disputes

Defensiveness and the inability to compromise will not result in positive conversations. If every discussion turns into an argument and neither of you wants to concede, you may both be losing sight of what’s important. Defensiveness is a shield that is raised, oftentimes unconsciously, when we perceive criticism. If this is present in your relationship, it is indicative of a couple of troubling things. First, it signals that one spouse is or expects to be criticized by the other. Second, the existence of defensiveness means that breaking through this barrier will be especially difficult because the defensive spouse has closed themselves off.

If you notice these patterns when having discussions or disagreements with your spouse, it may not be too late to fix the core issues that brought you both to this point. If you find you cannot repair the problem, contacting a divorce attorney may need to be your next step.

4. Declining Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a core part of a healthy, functional relationship. Life often gets in the way of an active sex life with your spouse. There are seemingly endless things that can interfere with intimacy – kids, growing careers, the stresses of everyday life, and health issues, to name a few. These are common and normal parts of a relationship, but if you are avoiding affection and physical intimacy, there may be a bigger problem.

5. When Small Acts of Kindness Feel Like a Burden

Happy couples find it easy to make time in their day for acts of kindness and thoughtfulness for their spouses. Doing things like taking care of a sick spouse or getting up early to make breakfast when your spouse has a big meeting at work should be natural actions in a healthy marriage. If you find that doing kind things for your spouse feels like a burden, or if your spouse never makes any thoughtful gestures toward you, this could signal a divorce in the near future.

6. Emotional Detachment

Getting through the ups and downs of life together requires empathy and compassion for each other. When you stop being able to see circumstances through your spouse’s eyes or have given up on trying to understand their feelings, this can lead to or be a symptom of a breakdown in the marriage.

7. Negative Patterns in Marriage

Negative patterns are another sign of trouble in your marriage. If every disagreement turns into an argument, this negativity and aggression could be taking you in the wrong direction in your relationship. Arguments are not necessarily a bad thing, but frequent verbal fights and hurtful words are.

8. Finding Joy in Your Spouse’s Absence

It’s completely normal to miss someone you love when you haven’t seen them in a while. Even just spending the day apart should build some healthy anticipation for seeing them when you both get home. Happy spouses are excited to see each other and spend time together. Your marriage may be on the rocks if you dread seeing your spouse or feel happier when they are away.

9. Losing Hope for the Future

Most people get married with the intention of spending a lifetime together. Looking forward to future years and stages of marriage should fill happy couples with joy and excitement. However, when you feel as though recent months or years have been devoid of happy moments, it can be challenging to have hope for the future. If you cannot look forward to the years or decades you will spend with your spouse, your relationship with them is likely fading quickly.

10. Irreconcilable Differences

It is common for spouses to file for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. In California, this means that conflicts cannot be resolved, and that has led to the breakdown of the relationship. This is considered a no-fault ground for divorce.

If you feel your marriage has developed into an unhealthy relationship and want guidance on your options for separation and divorce, contact the Sarieh Law Offices for guidance. Our Certified Family Law Specialist has helped couples throughout Santa Ana and the surrounding areas navigate the complex and emotionally challenging process of divorce. Reach out today to schedule your free case evaluation.