One of the most challenging aspects of any divorce or separation is determining where the children will live and who will make important decisions about their upbringing. The legal arrangement of child custody involves complex considerations, with the child’s welfare and best interests serving as the primary guiding principle. Custody arrangements and parental involvement have a direct and significant impact on a child’s life, influencing their daily experiences, well-being, and overall development, including their emotional health.

Many parents find themselves wondering how much influence their child’s preferences and their own preferences will have in custody decisions. The question of whether a child’s preference can influence which parent to live with is prevalent, especially as children get older and develop stronger opinions about their living arrangements. Like many aspects of child custody law, the answer involves multiple factors and careful consideration. Maintaining a child’s routine—such as consistency in daily activities, school schedules, and social interactions—is also a crucial factor for stability and well-being during and after custody changes.

Does a Child Have the Right to Choose Which Parent to Live With in California?

The short answer is: It depends. While children can express their preferences regarding custody arrangements, the court’s ultimate decision will always prioritize what’s in the child’s best interests, taking into account the child’s wishes. The child’s wishes represent just one factor among many that judges consider when determining custody.

Because minors are still developing emotionally and intellectually, there are legitimate questions about whether a child possesses the maturity to make such a significant life decision. Additionally, courts must be vigilant about potential undue influence from one or both parents who might pressure the child to choose them. Every child matures at a different pace and in different ways, making it impossible to apply a one-size-fits-all approach to considering their preferences. To better understand the child’s opinion and preferences regarding custody and to provide emotional support, the court may gather the child’s input through interviews or evaluations if the child demonstrates sufficient maturity. This process helps ensure that the child’s emotional health and opinion are considered appropriately in the context of their maturity and best interests.

What Is the Age Factor for a Child to Choose Their Custodial Parent?

In California, a child’s age is a key factor in determining how much weight the court gives to their wishes regarding custody. A child who is at least 14 years old is generally considered “of sufficient age” to express a meaningful preference about which parent they want to live with, leading to the question: Can a child choose which parent to live with in California, exploring the age and maturity factors? While younger children can certainly share their feelings about custody arrangements, their preferences may not carry the same weight in court proceedings as those of teenagers.

The courts are required to listen to children of sufficient age who wish to express their custodial preferences. However, California law does not set a specific age at which a child can choose which parent to live with; instead, the law generally gives more consideration to children aged 14 and older. Even when a child chooses a parent, the court will still evaluate the decision based on the child’s best interests, understanding that this is not the sole determining factor. If the court believes that the parent chosen by the child would not serve the child’s best interests, the judge will likely rule differently despite the child’s expressed preference.

What Is the Maturity Factor for a Child to Choose Their Custodial Parent?

Maturity can be subjective, with definitions varying from person to person and situation to situation. When a child aged 14 or older expresses a custodial preference, the court will carefully examine the foundation for that preference, understanding that this process can be emotionally taxing for the child. The court assesses the child’s maturity, including their emotional maturity and overall developmental level, which are critical aspects of the child’s development, to determine if their preference is well-founded. A judge or other qualified official may interview the child, often with the assistance of professionals experienced in working with minors.

Valid reasons for a child choosing one parent:

  • They have experienced abuse or neglect from the other parent, or that parent has demonstrated an inability to provide proper care and supervision.
  • They have developed a significantly stronger emotional bond and emotional ties with one parent compared to the other.
  • One parent can better meet their specific educational, medical, or emotional needs.

Invalid reasons for a child choosing one parent:

  • The child wants to avoid reasonable discipline and structure (choosing the more permissive parent simply to avoid rules—though if discipline crosses into abuse, that becomes a valid concern).
  • The court is careful to distinguish between a child’s genuine preference and one that may be the result of parental influence, such as when one parent has unduly pressured or influenced them in their choice through inappropriate means.
  • One parent has engaged in parental alienation, systematically undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent through negative comments that are often untrue or unverifiable.

What Types of Child Custody Exist in California?

Understanding the different types of custody can help clarify how a child’s preferences might influence various aspects of their living arrangement. California recognizes two primary types of child custody:

  • Legal custody. This encompasses the authority to make major decisions about the child’s upbringing, including educational choices, religious instruction, medical care, extracurricular activities, and travel arrangements. Legal custody grants parents authority over important decisions affecting the child’s upbringing. Legal custody doesn’t involve day-to-day decisions like whether a child can have a friend over after school; instead, it covers significant, life-affecting choices.
  • Physical custody. This determines where the child lives and which parent will provide daily care and supervision.

A parenting plan is an important document that outlines custody arrangements and visitation schedules, ensuring provisions are tailored to the child’s best interests.

Both legal and physical custody can be awarded as either sole or joint arrangements:

  • Sole custody: One parent has full responsibility for either decision-making (legal) or the child’s residence (physical). The custodial parent typically makes all major decisions when sole legal custody is awarded.
  • Joint custody: Parents share responsibilities and time with the child. For physical custody, this might involve alternating weeks, splitting weekdays and weekends, or other arrangements. Joint legal custody requires parents to collaborate on major decisions, regardless of where the child primarily lives.

California courts generally prefer joint physical and legal custody arrangements because they allow both parents to remain actively involved in the child’s life. However, if the court determines that joint custody wouldn’t serve the child’s best interests, it may award sole custody to one parent. How custody is determined in California depends on various factors, with the court always aiming to make a decision that serves the interests of the child and the child’s best interests, which reflects the complexity of custody determinations.

The Role of the California Family Code in Child Custody Decisions

The California Family Code serves as the foundation for how custody decisions are made in the state, ensuring that the best interests of the child remain at the forefront of every case. Under the Family Code, particularly Section 3042, California courts are required to consider a child’s preference regarding custody arrangements if the child is of sufficient age and maturity to make an intelligent choice. Typically, this means that children who are at least 14 years old have the right to express their custodial preference, unless the court believes that hearing the child’s wishes would not be in the child’s best interest. However, the law also allows for the consideration of younger children’s input if they demonstrate the maturity to articulate their feelings and needs.

When determining custody, the court looks at a wide range of factors beyond just the child’s preference. The child’s welfare, emotional health, and the strength of the child’s relationship with each parent are all carefully evaluated. The court also considers each parent’s ability to provide a stable, loving home and to support the child’s routine, development, and overall well-being. If a child expresses a strong desire to live with one parent due to a closer emotional bond or a more supportive environment, the court will weigh this preference alongside other critical factors in an open court, such as the continuity of the child’s education, social life, and the parent’s ability to meet the child’s physical and emotional needs.

The California Family Code also addresses serious concerns that can affect custody determinations, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, and parental alienation. If there is credible evidence of domestic violence or substance abuse, the court’s priority shifts to protecting the child’s safety and emotional health, which may result in limiting or modifying the custody rights of the parent involved. In cases where parental alienation is suspected—where one parent may be undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent—the court can take steps to address and remedy the situation, sometimes ordering counseling or supervised visitation to support the child’s best interests while also ensuring a stable home environment for the child.

Custody arrangements in California can include joint legal custody, where both parents share decision-making responsibilities, or sole legal custody, where one parent has the authority to make major decisions about the child’s upbringing. Physical custody can also be shared or granted primarily to one parent, depending on what the court determines will best support the child’s well-being and stability.

Ultimately, the California Family Code provides a comprehensive framework for determining custody that prioritizes the interests of the child above all else. By considering the child’s input, the quality of each parent’s relationship with the child, and any factors that could impact the child’s safety or development, California courts strive to create custody arrangements that foster the child’s emotional, physical, and psychological health. For parents navigating custody disputes or seeking a custody modification, understanding how the Family Code applies to their situation—and working with a knowledgeable family law attorney—can make a significant difference in achieving a positive outcome for their child.

What Should I Do if My Child Has Strong Opinions About Custody Arrangements?

If your child has expressed strong preferences about living arrangements, it’s important to understand how these wishes might influence the court’s decision and what steps you can take to ensure their voice is heard appropriately. The decision-making process involves a holistic evaluation of all relevant factors, including the child’s preferences, each parent’s ability to provide stability, and the overall family dynamics in custody disputes. In custody cases, the court may appoint a child custody evaluator or minor’s counsel to gather the child’s input and make recommendations, ensuring the child’s best interests are represented during custody matters.

Contact an experienced family law attorney who can help you navigate the complexities of child custody decisions and understand how your child’s preferences might impact the outcome. Understanding the legal process in custody matters is crucial, as professional support can help parents navigate divorce proceedings and custody cases effectively. Professional legal guidance can be invaluable in ensuring that custody arrangements truly serve your child’s best interests while respecting their developing autonomy and emotional needs.

Call the Sarieh Family Law at 949-542-6209 (Newport Beach) or 714-410-2560 (Santa Ana) for a free 30-minute in-depth case evaluation. We know determining custody can be stressful, especially if the spouses don’t agree on what the outcome should be. We can help you determine if your child’s wishes will likely be considered by the court and how that could affect the judge’s decision concerning who will be the custodial parent.